Transitions

My roommate and best friend is getting married in 3 days. It's so crazy but so good. I feel like that with a combination of other things has made me stuck in this transition phase for a while. I'm not getting married right now, not even close, but I feel like life is going to look different. This is going to be a new season, a pretty crazy awesome one, but one that looks really different.

Our house is a disaster; I mean there is wedding stuff and regular stuff everywhere plus two new people are going to be moving in any day now. I feel like after Laura is gone and I can adjust to living life with new people life will be normal, but what the heck is normal anyway? It took me a while to adjust to the fact that my relationship with my best friend will be different. Her husband will now be her best friend and person she shares everything with. I have had to do this many times, lose a friend to marriage. Don't get me wrong it is amazing and beautiful, and I am so happy for her, but it's always sort of weird for me. I am here needing a new best friend, get one, and then it eventually has to change. We are growing up. People will get hitched. It is a beautiful picture of how Christ loves His church.

But then I am sort of like what the heck am I doing now? This time it's different. This time I feel more prepared. I am so joyful right now. God has been teaching me things and growing me in areas really quickly. God is really the only thing in life that makes sense to me, and I'm ok with that. I don't have to understand everything. I don't have to understand what is coming next. I probably shouldn't because then I won't learn in the same way. I like the unexpected. I'm ok with it now. I just am so eager for what God has next. I am ready and willing to do anything for Him. It's hard, though, to not get hung up on the fact that I still don't have a job and am literally about to run out of money. He told me to stay in Cincy this year so I have to trust that He didn't lead me back here to not take care of me. I fully trust Him. I know transitions are weird and I can always wait and hope that sometime I will feel settled, but should we ever completely feel comfortable and settled? Earth is not our home, it's a foreign place and I never want to slip into complacency and comfort. I want to be ready for anything. I want to praise God in the midst of suffering. I don't deserve this life at all so who am I to complain about anything?

Wow, for some reason I am just so excited for whatever is happening and will be happening in the near future. I have no idea what that is, but I know God will lead me and shape me and provide for me in exactly the way He has planned. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows I want to serve Him in full abandonment, and I don't think He takes those kinds of commitments lightly. This following Jesus thing has gotten me in pretty deep, and I can't contain the joy He gives me! Bring it!